In this month’s post I talk about our return to Chennai and the last of our adventures for our Indian trip. Then we had a fun event back home in Accra and settled back into our routine.
Return to Chennai
Once May began, we ended our visit to Kodaikkanal and headed back to Chennai. On the morning of our trip back we decided to try the arcade one last time for the kids. Before we started at the arcade, Varun and I grabbed a quick cup of roadside Indian coffee. One of my favorite things about visits to India: the coffee and chai!
Unfortunately, there was a network error with the arcade’s computer system, so none of their attractions were running. There was one thing that the kids could do, and Prahyanth, Varun’s nephew, wanted to try with Varun. It was a haunted house. I know very well what these attractions are like, at least the ones in the US, and I wanted no part of it. I, myself, am a huge scaredy cat! Sara Gail wanted to go because she wanted to go with her Daddy and big brother. I warned her that it would be scary, but she still went – and she was terrified when she came out! Her brother didn’t understand why she was so scared, he wasn’t phased by it at all. I definitely understood how she felt, so I tried my best to comfort her.
Once we gathered everyone up, we piled into the rental van and went down the mountain to make headway for the train. It was still a harrowing journey for me, just as much downhill as it was uphill. Thankfully the girls slept the whole way through it, and we gave them the motion sickness medication so there were no other incidents either. When we finally made it back down to the base of the mountain, we decided to grab a quick lunch. It was a typical Indian restaurant, so I went for another typical south Indian meal, served on the traditional banana leaf – and so did Sara Gail! I was really proud of her trying to eat like me and the rest of her Indian relatives. Abigail shared a noodle dish with Varun, and everyone enjoyed the meal.
There were a few other attractions in town that we wanted to see before going to the train station. The first was a former palace that is now run as a government museum. As are most tourist sites around the world, certainly all the ones I visited in Egypt, the rates were offered for local residents and tourists. They even charge more for foreign children! But it really was beautiful with huge columns all around. They even open it up in the evenings for light shows and concerts. The kids got a chance to run around a bit, as long as they stayed away from the edges of the platforms. There was even a former dance hall where Abigail performed a small ballet routine for me.
Unfortunately, though, it is being run by the Indian government, and as such, they shut the place down early. Even though we still had 15 minutes left before the official closing time, they made everyone leave the building. On top of the frustration of not getting to see everything, Abigail needed to use the restroom. Of course, there wasn’t anything available in the museum, that would just make too much sense. There were some facilities in the garden outside, but the people “running” the bathroom were demanding money before I could use it. I was getting really angry because I kept trying to explain that my three year-old daughter, who was right next to me and I kept pointing too, needed to go, and I would pay them as soon as she had finished, but they wouldn’t let me through! So, Varun came over and explained the whole thing, paid them, and I finally got Abigail in on time. But each toilet was absolutely disgusting, so it was holding her over the bowl. It’s the one thing that will always annoy me about India – why not have facilities for everyone and keep them clean! It’s especially frustrating for me because I used to clean a public bathroom myself back when I was a teenager. In fact, it was the topic of my college admissions essay! To me, it’s only logical: If you don’t want your streets to smell – have working and clean bathrooms available for everyone!
My bathroom rant aside, we next went to see one of the oldest temples in town. Like most important temples in India, it is surrounded by a body of water. So, we were planning on taking a boat tour around the temple, but then we watched the boat ahead of us. They didn’t even take a full tour around the temple, and they clearly weren’t giving any history on the site. But, I still managed to get a couple of nice photos.
Instead, we went to try a local drink that the area is known for, Varun took a picture of a sign with the name of it so I wouldn’t forget! It’s very similar to a bobba tea, but not quite as good. The girls didn’t have any interest in trying it themselves.
For the last of our time in the rental van I wanted to be sure to get a picture of the handle by the door, which was in the shape of an elephant! And the girls asked for a chance to sit in the front – something I never let them do at home! They seemed to enjoy it, but Sara Gail was always very nervous about Abigail getting up at all or touching things she wasn’t supposed to.
As evening fell, we wanted to be sure to get dinner before boarding the nighttime train. So, we went to another local restaurant, though it looked more like a cafeteria you’d find in a high school. It had basic Indian dishes, and two of the family’s favorites: Idly and Dosa, so the girls were plenty happy with the meal!
We still did have to wait for a bit, because the train wasn’t leaving until after 10:30 at night. But we made our way to the platform and then eventually on to the train. For this trip, Sara Gail was super excited to be on the train and asked to sleep in the top bunk. Abigail was tired so she went to sleep shortly after we boarded. Sara Gail stayed up for a bit playing games with Varun and enjoying just being on the train. Eventually they did both fall asleep and Varun and I tried our best to get some rest during this last leg of our adventure traveling within India.
The train was a bit delayed getting back into the station at Chennai, basically a big train traffic jam – which I didn’t even think could happen! Luckily, we weren’t in a rush to get home so it wasn’t a very big deal to any of us. I even managed to get a few pictures of the Chennai train station before we hopped in our last rental van and finally made our way back to Patti’s house.
Housewarming Ceremony
Once we got back into Chennai, it was time to prepare for the main event of our visit: the housewarming ceremony for Saraswathi’s new apartment! Since Saraswathi is widowed, and Varun is her only son, it was up to Varun and I to perform the ceremony. Before the ceremony took place, the girls and I took this opportunity for a little Indian treat that I don’t get to do nearly often enough: Henna! The girls were really interested and loved it, although they didn’t like the waiting around until the henna dried. While it was just Abigail, it wasn’t too bad, I was able to just have her sit in my lap and hold her arms up and keep her from messing it up. But once Sara Gail’s was finished, it was my turn to get mine done. So, that ended up with a lot of telling the girls “Don’t touch that, you’ll mess up your arms,” “Leave it alone or it’ll get ruined,” “Ask Daddy/Patti for help, don’t touch!” The end results were beautiful, and the girls and I were thrilled!
The next day was the ceremony, which meant a very early start for Varun and I. According to the Indian custom, the timing of these ceremonies is very important, and there is a ritual to determine the start times. For our apartment, our ceremony had to start around 5:00 am. Luckily, the girls didn’t need to attend, not from the very start anyway, so it was just Varun and I getting up crazy early for this event. Most of the rituals that we performed I did not understand, they all tend to look very similar, at least the parts that are performed sitting in front of the fire. This particular ceremony required participation of a couple animals, specifically a mother and baby cow. They contributed some items before my arrival, which Varun pointed out to me in the bottle you see on the floor in front of me. And then after we were finished with the part of the ceremony with the cow you see pictured below, the cow left us another gift on the floor of the future parking garage. To me, it looked as though they were going to try and lead the cow up the stairs to the actual apartment itself, of course everyone was speaking Tamil so I can’t say for sure that is what they were planning on doing. But before they reluctantly dragged the cow toward the staircase, her tail lifted up, and I’m sure everyone can imagine what happened next! Saraswathi was thrilled though, apparently this portends very good luck to the inhabitants of the new house, and she took the liberty of cleaning up herself. And then we paid the owner of the cows a small gift for letting them participate in our ceremony.
The rest of the ceremony consisted of various different religious acts to bring prosperity to the inhabitants of the house. Thankfully this was one of the shorter Indian ceremonies that I’ve participated in. We actually finished everything before the girls even woke up that morning! (Which was good because they would not have enjoyed the smoky fire that was in front of us for most of the ceremony)
When everything was done and more guests started to arrive for the celebration portion, we finally went to go get the girls up and ready to meet everyone. Here is one point where my list of things I’ve never expected to do has gotten shorter. On one of the various runs to and from the new house on the housewarming ceremony days, we took a scooter, all four of us, to get there. The girls stood in front of Varun and I, in a saree and everything, sat sidesaddle on the back. It was only a very short trip, not even a minute long really, but certainly something I never planned on doing!
We did our best to try and visit with all of Varun’s family and Saraswathi’s friends who came by to greet us and congratulate Saraswathi on her new home. The girls did have a bit of a tough time because they can be on the shy side. This is one cultural divide in our family that never seems to get bridged, no matter how hard we try to get his family to understand. For Varun’s relatives, children attending gatherings with large numbers of friends and relatives around is a fairly normal event. Kids are used to seeing and being around lots of different adults, some they know and some they don’t. And as part of Indian culture, the kids are expected to greet everyone enthusiastically and be completely content being carried around by a seemingly unknown relative. But our girls have not been exposed to that type of thing, except when they go to India. In their normal day-to-day lives, they are only used to the people they see on a regular basis, which really extends to our close friends, teachers, and Varun and I, and even with our friends and teachers they can sometimes be shy. So, it can be really hard at these large family events in India. Varun’s family members don’t understand why the girls shut down and become so shy at these events, and they sometimes even take offense. But they just don’t or can’t grasp the fact that the girls spend most of their time in a small, nuclear family setting of Varun, myself, and the two of them. Even with this cultural frustration sometimes getting in the way, the girls did really well, given the circumstances. Thankfully they were gifted some beautiful new Indian cooking toys that they thoroughly enjoyed playing with! They even sat down with me, in traditional Indian event-style seating and ate their lunches off of banana leaves.
I must say, even if I was initially frustrated with the girls, I am immensely impressed with how well they handled themselves. Especially when I am still intimidated by these events, with the language barrier being a major contributing factor.
The night of the ceremony, there was one more thing that needed to be done. Now, Varun made it very clear that I didn’t have to participate in this part of the ritual. But, it is customary that the owners of the new apartment sleep there that first night. The reason Varun gave me an out is because the apartment wasn’t completely finished yet. The main thing that was missing for a night in the apartment to be comfortable were air conditioners. Saraswathi is planning on using her current units in her new place, but since she isn’t quite ready to move in yet, there are no units in the new place. So, Varun offered to stay the night alone with his mother while I stayed in her current place alone with the girls. Well, one, I didn’t really want to stay alone with them, not in a house that is not ours anyway. Two, I knew how important this ceremony and the ritual is to Saraswathi, and we were all there to do this for her. So, I told Varun no, we’d all stay the night together. So we had set up these cooling units to try and make the rooms comfortable for the night, the set up would be the same as her current house: the girls on a mattress with Saraswathi and Varun and I in our own room. The only problem was that the cooling machines needed ice to fully function, and ice isn’t available for sale in Chennai. While they were setting the place up for the night, they turned the units on ahead of time, but they didn’t put any water in them. So, instead of cooling the rooms, they were simply circulating hot air making the rooms even hotter! Once we all settled into bed, we were able to open our bedroom doors and let what little draft there was from outside in, which made it fairly feasible to get some sleep overnight. The next morning we got up and went back to the comfort of Saraswathi’s current house, but I made sure to get some pictures of her new house. I do really look forward to visiting next and staying in the new place, it does look really nice!
A few days later Varun’s cousin performed his ceremony. Since both his parents are alive and well, they ended up performing a majority of the ceremony themselves. But his cousin and his wife still had a fairly big role to play. Unfortunately, though, their apartment, which is attached to Saraswathi’s, doesn’t have a balcony and is not very well ventilated, so it was way too smoky during the ceremony for the girls and I to stick around. So, we went back home and they played most of the time with their cousins, including cousins that they had only met a few days before at our ceremony. We did go back for lunch at the new houses though, and I got a picture of how everyone sits to eat. These ceremonies are all done the same way, at least as far as the catered meal is concerned. Everyone just sits, in their own time and next to whomever is sitting down, and they are served the catered food. I really like the food, most times, but it can be a little more difficult for the girls to eat because they tend to add more spices than we usually would. Actually, on the day of our ceremony the girls missed out on a whole course because the caterers didn’t expect the girls to eat it! But, as they had the entire trip, they ate the best they could, given the unusual circumstances.
Overall the ceremonies went off very well, Saraswathi was very happy with everything we did to help and participate to make them a success. I was especially impressed with my sister-in-law (Varun’s cousin’s wife) because she really did so much work to make sure everything was ready for the ceremonies, and cleaned up afterwards.
Pondicherry
After the ceremonies were done, the four of us took one more trip within India to go see Pondicherry. Varun has wanted to take me there for years since it was originally French-occupied territory in India. It’s only a fairly short car ride from Chennai, so it was well worth the trip. I loved getting to see more of the country side instead of mostly seeing the city when we visit Chennai. After the fiasco of motion sickness in Kodaikkanal, Varun came up with, what he thinks, is a pretty genius invention. Rather than trying to scrounge around for plastic bags (which are now banned and no longer allowed anywhere in India), Varun took a large plastic water bottle and cut the top off. That way, it would make for much easier clean up (and catch any unwanted mess much easier too). Thankfully, we did not need to use it, but it’s always better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it!
The hotel we were staying in at Pondicherry was beautiful! (And possibly meriting another visit in the future) It had a stretch of private beach, which we immediately went to visit with the girls. We didn’t get any pictures of us playing around in the water, because we were all too busy having fun. Although Sara Gail was a little bit too intimidated by the waves and stayed on the beach playing with the sand.
The hotel also has a beautiful, huge pool, with a swim up bar, that Varun and I took full advantage of, and the girls also enjoyed some fruit juices while sitting in the water too. We spent quite a long time in the pool as a family. It was so relaxing and fun just to be in the water together! We even got a snack to share while we were swimming too!
After we finally pried ourselves away from the gorgeous pool, the girls spent some time on the little playground and then we went back to our room to get ready for dinner, and dessert!
That night we all went to bed early after a day of sun and beach and pool. The next morning I made sure to get some pictures of our room. They were really very nice accommodations, with an extra roll away bed for Sara Gail, and there was a little bench on the end of our bed that was big enough for Abigail. We even had a couple little patios to ourselves as well.
Once we were all ready for the day, we were off to get some much needed breakfast. The hotel itself is very beautiful with a open set up in the lobby. We even got to see how they construct the old-fashioned thatched roofs! And for breakfast they had both western and Indian dishes. The girls and I were happy to have some familiar food like scrambled eggs, pancakes, cereal, and even donuts! But Varun took the chance to be in India and have an authentic Indian breakfast.
I took the opportunity to have my favorite Indian coffee, although I haven’t quite got the hang of the cooling off method, so Varun helped me with that part.
After breakfast the girls enjoyed a little more play time on the playground, and some quiet play time in the room while Varun and I finished packing and got ready to go.
I got a few more shots of our beautiful hotel, then we were off to see more of the city itself. As with most nice hotels in more impoverished areas, the area surrounding the hotel wasn’t the best. But, as you see mosques everywhere in the Middle East and churches everywhere in the West, so too in India there are temples at almost every corner.
My favorite parts of the city were the street signs, that all appeared in both French and Tamil, and the remnants of the European architecture. The street signs were just so cool, though. I loved seeing those two languages juxtaposed on all the signs!
Varun really wanted to take me to the local museum because there is a lot of interesting history in the area. Of course, going to a museum with young children is never easy, so it wasn’t all that informative or relaxing with the two girls in tow. But we tried to get out of it what we could. I still enjoyed getting to see all the artifacts and read what I could on the area’s history.
After we were finished at the museum, we decided to walk around a little bit to get in a better spot for the car to pick us up. While we were waiting, I saw a little mini reincarnation of Varun’s father in the form of Abigail. She has done this since she was a bitty toddler just learning to walk and it’s the exact same thing that Varun’s father used to do - it’s really how I remember him. And to see her do it standing around the streets of India was just really wild for me!
For lunch, Varun wanted to take me to a typical French restaurant. We found a quaint little place to try out, but unfortunately they stopped making their signature dish of crepes after the COVID pandemic hit. And for some reason the sandwiches weren’t available for lunch, so I got a heavier, creamier pasta dish. The girls were a bit frustrating waiting for their food, and then for their food to cool down. But we managed to have a fairly decent meal just the four of us out for Western style food.
Our final stop was at the Notre Dame Cathedral. Since I had visited the one in Paris, on several occasions, I wanted to see the one here. It was a very beautiful church, and I took the time to light a couple candles for my loved ones who have passed on.
On the way home, I enjoyed the scenery, and wildlife, from the front seat. Since I was stuck in the back with the girls on the way there, it was only fair that Varun was with them on the way back. We even saw some salt mines – these looked a lot cleaner than the ones that we’ve seen in Ghana.
All in all, it was a nice little mini vacation within our vacation where we got to get away just the four of us for a few days.
Crocodile Park
On the drive back from Pondicherry, we decided to stop at a little place of entertainment for the girls: a small crocodile park! They had a few other different types of reptiles, and it was actually in very clean condition, compared to zoos I’ve seen in other places. And a lot of information available, in both English and Tamil. The girls really enjoyed it, even if they did get a little scared when they realized what we were actually looking at. It was definitely a fun stop that turned out to be worth our while.
Last Days in India
After the two housewarming ceremonies and our trip were over, we had a few more days to just stay at Saraswathi’s house before we had to start our trip back to Ghana. We spent the days just having time with the family, and when the girls got bored in the apartment we’d take them upstairs on the roof for some more space, especially for Sara Gail’s cartwheels! And Abigail tried her hand at skateboarding.
Varun was happy to see more of his family when another cousin of his came into town for the ceremonies. Plus, he got a much better carrom partner than yours truly. I keep telling him that I need more practice, so maybe his time playing with me on his team in India will give him motivation to teach me more often.
Since all of the youngest cousins were in the same place, which is a very rare occasion indeed, the family had decided to celebrate all their birthdays at once, the two youngest did in fact have birthdays right around the corner. So, the girls got to enjoy a small Indian birthday celebration with a special (eggless) cake. I decided to dress up a little and try on my new jewelry that I had gotten in Kodaikkanal. And all the girls got to wear their matching dresses, that I had made for all three of them.
All in all, it was a wonderful trip to visit family, see more of India, perform an important and meaningful ceremony, and explore more of Varun’s culture with the girls. I’ll say it again, even though Varun and I got frustrated with the girls from time to time, they were, in fact, very impressive on the trip. It would have been a lot for anyone to handle, and they really did so well. And they can’t wait to come back to visit Patti, Perimma, Perippa, their cousins, and the whole family again!
Trip Back to Accra
The trip home from Chennai was quite a doozy this time. Because of the flights that were available, we had to take four flights instead of just the three we came on. First thing we needed to do was give each of the girls some motion sickness medication. This had gotten infinitely more difficult during the visit, because we realized that the children’s chewable Dramamine was not a big enough dosage for Sara Gail. We did have the medication we needed for each of the girls, but it was in a swallowable pill. Since we didn’t even want to attempt to ask the girls to have it this way, I had crushed them beforehand. But, even though we were offering it to them in their beloved mango juice, they still knew it was in there and did not want anything to do with it. It took a lot of coaxing and begging to convince them to have it, but they finally did. And, Varun had gotten them a treat to have afterwards (and I had one for myself too): some macarons!
Our flight itinerary this time was Chennai to Colombo (Sri Lanka), Colombo to Doha, and then finally Doha to Accra. When we got to Colombo, we decided to get a little something to eat, so we found a little Pizza Hut in the airport and sat down, the girls had fun coloring with all the craft stuff I had packed for them and extras they had gotten from the first flight of our return trip.
Varun had some Sri Lankan rupees that he needed to spend, so he bought me some authentic, Sri Lankan tea, both black tea and green tea.
There was a bit of frustration waiting to board our flight, because they requested to hold on to our passports for a bit longer than I liked. They just needed to check that we had the required permits to return to Ghana. We finally boarded and tried to rest during the long flight. It was a rare flight where there were four seats all together, so the girls sat in the middle and Varun and I on either end. Sara Gail was next to Varun and Abigail next to me. Sara Gail slept like a rock the whole flight, but Abigail had very disturbed sleep, was very uncomfortable and constantly shifting and would wake up a lot fussing and crying. So, I didn’t have a very restful flight myself. Then, once we landed in Doha, and I tried to carry Abigail a little bit, I realized that I had an enormous, sharp pain in my left hip all the way down to my calf. I struggled to get around the airport, and as soon as we found a free, comfortable spot in the back of the kids’ major playground, I fell right asleep. We had a much short layover this time, so no lounge or family room. But after a short rest, we all made our way to the next flight and on to Accra (home).
We have found after a few of these intercontinental trips with the girls, that the jetlag is much easier going west. So, we didn’t have to do much to keep the girls awake until their normal bedtime. And as soon as we got back to the house the girls dove right into their usual imaginative play.
And once we were back in our home, rather than having Indian meals, we dove back into some western cuisine, and some much-missed meat! Varun was so happy to be back, he insisted on grilling our first weekend at home.
After a long time away, it was nice to be back in our home and to settle back into our routine, starting with school for the girls.
School
Even though there had been some vacation days while we were away, the girls still missed quite a bit of school. But they jumped right back into it and were more than happy to. Abigail had been asking to go back to school most days we were in India. They were so excited to be back with their friends and teachers, and of course back on their beloved playground.
Bike-a-thon!
Since we were back in town, it was time for me to buckle down and do my own part at the girls’ school. A while back, the principal had started her own version of a PTA/PTO, called the Parent Initiative Program. I love the school so much, and wanted to get more involved, so I joined and I’ve loved every meeting that we’ve held. At one such meeting, the principal had asked for ideas for a fundraiser. I suggested a Bike-a-thon, an event that I had done for years in my own elementary school back in Milan, New Hampshire. I had loved it so much, I wanted to be able to give the girls a chance to participate in one too. And it’s such a fun idea for the kids to raise the money themselves. So, once we were back in Accra, it was time to double down and get it ready to put on for the school and everyone who was going to be coming. The first step: take the girls around our neighborhood to get pledges for the charity.
Sports Day
There was one other event going on at the school right after we got home, Sara Gail’s Sports Day. Poor Varun wasn’t feeling well, so he stayed home this time, and since Abigail has joined gymnastics, we really had only a limited time to play all the games. But the girls still took full advantage and played as many games as they could. They even got a chance to race each other, and Sara Gail raced her best friend in a spoon race, too. It was a wonderful event with the amazing staff at their school. It was a shame that we could only stay for a short time, but the girls were excited about gymnastics!
Gymnastics
Both the girls are loving their gymnastics classes. Sara Gail is still shining so bright and loving all the new moves she learns every week. Even though Abigail doesn’t seem as passionate as Sara Gail, she is loving the class anyway and having lots of fun. She’s even getting close to doing her own little cartwheels!
Soccer
Abigail’s true passion, or at least one of them right now, seems to be soccer. Even though she does end up getting tired and standing around the field from time to time, when she gets running, kicking the ball and scoring goals, she is in love! It is so adorable to watch her with her classmates, they all love it and the coach is really great with them all!
Well, that ends this post about all our adventures in May of 2022. From Chennai back to Accra, it was a great adventure for the girls, some much needed time off for Varun, and then settling back into our routine in Accra. I hope you come back next month to read about our summer exploits in June of 2022.
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