This week’s post will describe one of the toughest periods this family has faced since we moved here to Accra. For most, if not all, of the summer Varun was stuck working from home, with all the lockdowns in place for COVID-19. While that experience came with its own challenges, specifically the girls not understanding that Daddy being at home did not always mean that Daddy was free to play. We still all enjoyed the fact that he was here, not traveling, and he’d come downstairs to see us all and play with the girls every night. But in early September last year, the government decided to open the airport and the air borders and, as I had been dreading, the demand and requirement for Varun to check in and conduct surveys in the neighboring countries came fast and relentlessly. So, our Fall started with six weeks of Varun away from the rest of us in Equatorial Guinea. First, he had to fly all the way across the continent and spend the night in Ethiopia, only to fly all the way back to the west to a country that is one of our direct neighbors, because there weren’t, and still are not, any other flights available. Next, he had to spend two weeks in a hotel in quarantine in-country before he could start his survey work offshore. Finally, we had to endure four weeks of very little communication, due to poor internet quality and availability. During the time he was gone he missed the girls’ first day of school, which, consequently, was then shut down and moved entirely to virtual within two weeks, and he was away for his birthday. I personally felt like I was carrying the sadness of everyone in our family for the entire six weeks. First, I felt so sad for Varun himself, away from us all, bored spending two weeks alone in a hotel room, missing his beautiful daughters, and myself. Then, I felt how badly each of the girls missed him, and I felt powerless to help them. There was absolutely nothing I could do to make him come back faster or make time go by quicker. And I had to also try and help them cope with losing their time at the school, which I was also powerless to do anything about. Finally, I had my own sadness and loneliness to cope with on top of all of this. This is the main reason I couldn’t sit down until now and reflect on the time spent here, I had absolutely no desire to write down and relive all the frustrations and emotions of each day. Of course, I’m sitting here now writing this, looking at starting yet another six weeks with Varun gone. We were able to get through the first six weeks away. Varun found ways to keep busy and then was very busy once he finally got offshore and down to work. The girls and I had the challenges of home learning to distract us, and most times, frustrate us, but they were also continuing and enjoying their swimming lessons and our other excursions we took out together. It was a trying time, and these next six weeks will certainly be another trying time, but we persevere, we will get through it. And we will all be the better for it in the end, and we will appreciate the time we have together when we are finally reunited as well.
So, here is what our Fall 2020 consisted of here in Accra!
Home Learning
Just a day or so after Varun left for his trip, the girls were set to start school. Now, the schools were not officially open at this time. But, the girls’ school had tried to find a way around this by operating as a recreational facility and running a “play group” rather than classes. Sara Gail was set to go four days a week for four hours and Abigail was set to go three days a week for four hours. They could not run full days because they needed time to clean and sanitize the campus, and they ran four hour sessions so they could have one group of students come in the morning and another group in the afternoon, allowing for the sanitization between sessions. They had worked everything out very well, they had tried to plan for everything so that everyone, students and teachers alike, could feel safe in the environment.
Unfortunately, there had been a law passed and a new regulatory committee formed over the summer that no one was aware of, and this school stays very informed on these types of matters. This committee had truly been formed under the radar, which is a common occurrence here, apparently. So, one of the high-profile parents whose child was, and still is, enrolled at the school, was nervous about how the school was trying to open. This parent took it upon themselves to go directly to this new committee and ask if the school was allowed to operate in this way, without talking to the school at all beforehand. So, because of this, the school and its play group program was shut down within a few weeks. The girls, especially Sara Gail, were devastated. She wasn’t happy in the first place that the school wasn't full day or all week, and she did not understand why she wasn’t allowed to go at all after just a few weeks. It was so hard to explain it to her as well, because I didn’t even fully understand it. In the end, this parent’s actions hurt the kids and the teachers the most. Because the kids are in desperate need of social interaction with peers, and the school could only afford to keep paying their teachers without having onsite learning for so long. Fortunately, they were able to meet with this new committee and get all the permissions that they needed to fully start up school again, once the schools were finally allowed to open, but, in the meantime, everything was virtual. Both girls had Zoom meetings with their teachers and classmates every day. This turned out to be near impossible for me to juggle. Sara Gail did not like doing the Zoom meetings at all, she wouldn’t pay attention or participate well, she just didn’t want to be talking to her teachers and friends over a computer. And Abigail was far too young to be left alone for a Zoom meeting, or just with a computer for that matter. So, either I had to try and do both calls at the same time, going back and forth between the girls to get them to participate and/or pay attention, while also providing them with snacks during the call. Or, I had to do one call at a time and hope the other girl would find something to keep them entertained while the other was on her call, which also turned out to be near impossible, more so with Sara Gail than Abigail, surprisingly. Abigail would play well on her own while Sara Gail had her call, but Sara Gail did not want to find things to do on her own while Abigail was on her call. It was a lot of frustrating days, trying to keep both girls happy, and trying to keep them both engaged, academically and otherwise.
I tried my best to find interesting ways for Sara Gail to have her calls. I attempted once with her bike by putting the training wheels in shoes and letting her just pedal stationary while she took her Zoom call. But even that didn’t work long because her training wheels were not staying on very well (the threads on the screws had been worn down and they wouldn’t stay on).
On top of the video calls, Sara Gail had daily worksheets that she needed to complete, both in French and English. Luckily Abigail is too young to be doing any worksheets herself, but that’s not to say that she didn’t have various Montessori activities or painting work that she needed to do, and I needed to coordinate, during her Zoom calls. It was very challenging trying to get Sara Gail to get all her worksheets done well and on time. Some days were better than others, and some activities she liked to do more than others, but I did the best I could to make sure she completed the worksheets well and on schedule. I then had to take pictures of them and send them to the school weekly so the teachers could assess her progress. I’m posting a few here so you can all get a sense of what she is learning, and what’s expected of her. I really do like the school and the progress she has been making is incredible. I just never realized how hard it can be to try and teach your own child. There’s just something about the parent-child relationship that makes it very difficult to try and teach, and maybe on some level for the kids to try and learn. Somehow, some way, we both managed to get through it, though, and Sara Gail continued to excel at the work she was given. And Abigail enjoyed getting to see teachers and friends, too, even if it was over the computer.
Swimming Lessons
Even though the girls didn’t have school onsite right now, they were still attending their weekly swimming lessons, and they both are really getting very good at swimming. Sara Gail loves the time just to be in the water, and usually plays more than she listens or learns right now. And Abigail has finally gotten to a point where I don’t need to be in the water with her. I also try and go to the lessons early so that they each have time to play in the indoor and outdoor playgrounds available at the recreation center. Abigail is even making new friends! Sara Gail is also taking a few other lessons at the center as well: we’ve started her on piano and she’s really having fun in her gymnastics class! The recreation center also offers a small beauty salon. So, I finally broke down, after 4 plus years, and had Sara Gail’s hair trimmed. It wasn’t cut short or anything, mind you! But it was starting to get a little unruly, and less of the baby soft texture, so a short trim did the trick. Sara Gail was pretty nervous, until she saw one of her favorite TV shows playing on the TV in there. I’m sure I’ll need to stop by again in a few months just to keep maintaining these gorgeous locks!
Indoor Play
Even with all the burdens that home learning brought, it really only took up a few hours of each day. The girls still had plenty of time to play together and come up with imaginative games to pass the time. Sara Gail certainly loves her photography fun, and she’s also having a lot of fun with beads, making necklaces, bracelets and such. There are times of naughty play too, for instance, this month, Sara Gail decided to try and ride on the gate we have at the bottom of our stairs by putting her knees on the bottom of it. The bottom then fell off and one of the pieces shattered. Luckily, the man who made it for us was kind enough to pick it up and repair it free of charge. So, it was interesting now having no gate at the bottom of the stairs, but Abigail is quickly outgrowing it anyway.
Indoor play also ends up involving a fair amount of screen time too, but it’s nice downtime for us to spend together and watch fun things. I’ve even introduced Sara Gail to one of my favorite, and one of the cheesiest kids’ shows of the 90’s: Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers! And one night I was feeling nostalgic about New Hampshire and the amusement park where I used to work, Story Land, so I found a video on YouTube of the Farm Follies play.
Outdoor Play
In addition to the swimming classes, Sara Gail and Abigail still get some time to play outside. Occasionally I go out with both of them, and they have started to love drawing with chalk - which our neighborhood is perfectly equipped for. Or, sometimes I just send Sara Gail out to play with all her neighborhood friends and spend some quality time inside with Abigail. Although, sometimes Sara Gail can get into some mischief when she goes out to play alone, like by drawing with chalk on doors and houses, not just the sidewalk and street.
Fun with Hair
Since we do have a little more freedom with the virtual learning, and a less strict schedule, I’ve still been taking the time to have some fun with the girls’ hair. As I talked about above, Sara Gail did get her first ever haircut this month. It was certainly bittersweet for me, and very sad for me to see all those gorgeous locks on the floor. But, Sara Gail is growing up and her hair routine is getting more complicated: shampoo on the top of her head, conditioner for the length, and a leave-in conditioner every other day. At least, for the moment it’s only one of the girls, but, as with everything else, I’m sure Abigail will catch up quickly, as her hair is growing fast too!
Food
Whether I’m here alone, or Varun is here too, we still all need to eat. I’ve been trying my best to maintain a variety, but it’s not always easy here. And getting the food can be challenging. Sometimes I’m able to have food delivered directly from the grocery store, a few times I was able to go out by myself and get the shopping done, but, more often than not, I have to take the girls with me to the stores. Thankfully neither one minds wearing the mask, and we do our best to maintain social distancing and use plenty of hand sanitizer, which is available and distributed at every store. I’ve experimented with a few new dishes this month, mainly some fried pork. I’ve also been able to make a few of the staple meals from my childhood, albeit a little more expensive to make here than back in the US.
I’ve had a new, fun experience myself with seafood here. Before I would just buy it frozen and thaw it, but I’d heard about a very good seafood store. So, I went there and bought the fish fresh, which they cleaned up for me before I took home, covered it in Ritz crackers, and fried it up for the girls!
I’ve also been having and making some foods for myself that I enjoy, using foods that I haven’t used in a long time, including orange sweet potatoes! As I’ve discussed before, the sweet potatoes here are purple-skinned with a white interior. So, the fact that I was able to get the orange skin, orange flesh sweet potatoes was quite the treat! As well as bagels and some Indian Chai!
I’m continuing to give the girls a rotation of Indian and American meals, which they are thoroughly enjoying. They’ve gotten very good at eating with their hands in the traditional Indian way, too.
And I’m giving them treats as well, like some cornbread pancakes!
Overall, the cooking here has been an interesting experience. From trying to find the foods I need, to exploring new, local fruits and veggies, it’s been quite an adventure. And while it can be a lot of work, I have found and hired a new cleaning lady to come by a few days a week to help me maintain the rest of the housework, or give me some peace and sanity when the girls are just to much to handle. I thought you’d still all enjoy getting to see the variety of dishes I am able to make here, I think they can look pretty good sometimes, if I do say so myself!
Reunion with Varun
After six very, very long weeks for our whole family, Varun was finally able to come back home to us. After several COVID-19 tests, several on the way out and on the way back from his journey, he finally came back to Accra, safe and sound. Since he had been out of town for his birthday, the girls and I decided to decorate the house and celebrate with him when he got home. So, I put up the typical streamers and balloons, the girls made him a nice card with their hand and foot prints, and Sara Gail even made him a Michigan-themed bracelet. We were finally all back together again, and it was a wonderful feeling for us all!
With Varun finally home, we were able to enjoy one of our favorite Fall past times: Michigan football! It was a little weird this year to watch the games with no fans in the stadium, especially the rowdy student section being empty. And it just doesn’t feel like college football without the school band playing. But the girls loved the first game, at least. Varun and I couldn’t stomach watching any other game this season because Michigan played so badly. But the girls are definitely super Michigan fans in the making already!
The only other eventful thing that happened this month was that my mother and brother sent me some videos of Conan O’Brian visiting Ghana. He was invited here for the year of return in 2019, and he visited around most of Accra and some other outlying areas in Ghana. It was really neat to watch the videos, mostly because he filmed in a lot of places that I have been to, and go to, regularly. He visited Makola market with a Ghanaian born actor. And he walked around a local hotspot which is just down the street from where our house is. I loved being able to tell my mom and brother, “Look, he’s right down the street from my house, I go there all the time!!” Of course, while he was here visiting, I was back in the US at my mom’s house for Christmas 2019.
Otherwise, the day-to-day life here in Accra went on as normal, or the new normal here anyway: crazy traffic everywhere, dirt roads along the main thoroughfare, and people who are just going about their lives as best they can.
I hope you come back next week to read about how our winter here in Accra went, with all of us home together.
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