The Journey and its Final Destination (for now)

This week’s post is a reflection on our original move from Charleston to Accra in comparison to our recent move back to Houston.

Our preparation for and move from Charleston, South Carolina back in April of 2019 seem to have been both an instant and eternity ago. In 2019 I was a mother of two children under the age of four: a rambunctious recently turned 3 year-old and an infant of 8 months old just learning how to crawl.

Now, after living for just over 4 years in the amazing country of Ghana, seeing both of these two little ones grow right before my eyes, we are back “home.” For Varun and I, we are finally home; for me in particular, I have been clawing my way back to this country, and this specific city, for the past 5 years. Even though I never imagined I would call Texas home, growing up in a household of Democrats in the 90s and early 2000s, I did not want to leave. Houston is where I came to see Varun while we were dating long distance throughout my undergrad. Houston is where Varun and I picked our first house – our first house, in which he would propose to me just months later. Houston is where Varun and I started our careers. Houston is where our first baby was born, her first home, where she first crawled, spoke, walked. This is where Varun and I would dream of coming back to, especially when times were tough or just on a particularly bad day in Accra.

But Houston has not been home to the girls – they have no concrete memories of the place, and Abigail only ever visited as an infant. Home for the girls became Accra. Once we had settled in the country, even in our tiny, serviced apartment, they fell in love and were happy to call that country home. Sara Gail first went to school in Accra, she made her first true friends, friendships that will last a lifetime. She learned to swim, read, write, and ride her bike in our little community. Abigail first learned to stand, walk, talk; she started school and made her own lasting friendships in that wonderful community we created.

Even Varun and I were able to make lasting memories, both good and bad, within those walls of our house at No. 8 Cantonments, House No. 3. We watched our girls grow, we relied on each other to make our lives run – he, usually offshore on some ship or rig, me, getting by each day trying to ensure the girls still had exposure to both our cultures while living in a third. We made our own friendships that will be everlasting – I can’t even count the amount of times I relied on the kindness and generosity of our closest friends to get me through the toughest times while Varun was working hard to support our joint dreams. Varun faced new work challenges that he could have never imagined, from meeting a new coworker in a hospital bed, to threats of mutiny and even piracy. And even though I had lived for a time in Africa, it was a completely different experience for me. Ghanaian culture was new, welcoming (Akwaaba!!), warm, friendly, inviting. I loved getting to dive right into a new culture, alongside Varun and the girls.

Before we left Charleston, I was very nervous about the move, to a country I knew next to nothing about. I was worried about the packing, the visas, passports, and everything that was needed prior to the move, for what felt like months. Then, all of a sudden, everything happened all at once: we were packed up and flying through Hamburg and then on to Accra. We had to find a house, a school for Sara Gail, and I tried to find a new network of friends. Some things took longer than others, but in the end, I was happy with our home and all our new friends.

It was an amazing experience that I truly feel lucky to have had – for the third time in my short life! Varun and I had always joked, since we had traveled so much before we even met each other: how could our children top our international experiences – well they certainly did! They had lived on two continents, traveled to four continents, and made 12 international trips before the age of 8 years-old! They have seen more places and met people from more countries around the world than some people three or four times their age. And the benefits of this experience are extremely apparent for both of them: they are smart, resilient, caring, and better people because they lived in Accra. We are a closer family because we have been through this adventure together.

And now we are on the other side: and this move back has been much harder for Sara Gail and Abigail than I could have ever imagined. They miss their lives, friends, even our house so, so much. They loved their time in Ghana and hopefully they will never forget it. And, I truly hope they will take the lessons they learned living in a third culture with them into adolescence and young adulthood. Varun and I were just reminiscing the other night about how lucky we were and how well timed our adventure in Ghana was: the girls were the perfect age to grow up in Ghana, and Varun and I were lucky to have been able to share in this experience as a young family.

The title of this blog post ends somewhat cryptically with a “for now.” While we never want to say “never,” we certainly don’t have any immediate plans to sign up for another stint abroad in the near future. We have seen how hard the transition has been on the girls, and it will only get harder as they get older, make more friends, and get more settled here in Houston. Plus, it would never be the same as our time in Ghana – of course it would be a different city, different country, but it will never have the same meaning. And it shouldn’t; each new experience should bring with it its own lessons and adventures. So, we’ll see where time takes the Raghunathan family, but for now: I’m happy to finally be home.