This post is my yearly retrospective piece on our move to and our time living in Accra. I reflect on the move to this new country and how we’ve each grown as individuals and as a family while we’ve been living an ex-pat lifestyle here in Ghana.
The Move
It seems almost a lifetime ago, yet just like yesterday, that Varun and I first decided to make the move from our comfortable, relatively new home, in Charleston, South Carolina, to a whole new continent and country that neither of us knew much about. I had lived in Egypt during the last few months of my college career, but it is a completely different Africa than the one we were moving into. And Varun had never visited Africa himself, though he knew family and friends who had lived and worked on the continent, for a time anyway. And though he spent most of his life living in India, with similar work ethics and bureaucratic red tape dilemmas, he hadn’t actually worked in either place. It is a wholly different experience in the workforce of a country.
We had a young family that had only recently grown by one more adorable baby girl. Plus, we had only been living in our current home and city for about a year before we made this decision. But, we both thought it would be a good opportunity for our family to spend some time living in another country and another culture. Our family would benefit financially thanks to Varun’s generous work package and all the extra hard work and travel he has put in. And, we would benefit culturally from living in and experiencing a new culture, and getting to reflect on our own culture as well.
Even once the decision had been made, though, there were still a million questions racing through my mind. What was it like there? Would there be things to do with my two young girls? What was available to buy there? Would we even enjoy living there? All these questions were answered pretty quickly once we arrived, although some are still getting new answers every day, due to the ever-changing environment here, as well as the ever expanding ex-pat community here in Accra.
It was a challenge getting settled, initially, moving from a five-bedroom, two-story house, to a small two bedroom apartment for several months. Nap times were disrupted and evolved, activities were limited, but we found a way to manage and get by for that briefest of periods.
We were lucky to find a bigger home fairly quickly and get settled in with all our things, as well as add to our house to make it more our home. The location really could not be better, with Varun going the opposite direction of traffic whether going into the office or coming home – of course assuming that he’s in town and going to the office. It works well for the girls because it’s only a five-minute car drive from their school. And I couldn’t be happier about our house and where we live – it’s easy for me to get to anywhere else in the city easily enough, I can find places to run and get exercise outside, and it’s just overall a comfortable place to live.
Over the years, we’ve gotten more and more settled and comfortable in our new home, both the culture and country where we live, and the actual house that we’ve made into our home. The girls have grown up in this house and have reached many important milestones – Abigail was potty-trained in this house, Sara Gail lost her first tooth in this house. This is truly where the girls have grown! Even though I know Sara Gail talks about eventually moving back to Houston – mostly because of wanting her own pets – and even though Varun and I can sometimes long for and dream of the day, I don’t believe a single one of us regrets our decision. As many upheavals and struggles we have faced during our time here, I would gladly do the move and the last three years all over again.
Abigail
Oh my dear, sweet Abigail, how she has grown and thrived here in Ghana! When we arrived she hadn’t even turned a year old yet. She has really only known Ghana and Accra as her home. But, because of that she never had any preconceptions about what our life should look like or where it should be. She had such innocence and curiosity since the moment we set foot here.
Since she was so little, she was home with me for most of the time that we’ve been living here in Accra. I wanted to be sure she had as much opportunities as her sister had had to interact and socialize with kids her age. It wasn’t as easy to find such activities here, as they were few and far between, but I made every effort to find them. It was so amazing when I joined the WhatsApp Baby Group only a few short months after arriving here. The women I met are still close friends of mine to this day, and we’ve been able to watch our babies grow up together. Abigail and I, by the time we had been here for a year, we had a nice routine of play dates and toddler activities every week. She absolutely loved it!
Just as I was getting ready to let go and send her off to school with her big sister, life threw a wrench in our plans in the form of COVID. The school had to shut down and we had to lock down in place. We were lucky that the school tried its best to provide a virtual learning experience for the kids. It wasn’t ideal for this age group, but it was all that was available at the time. Surprisingly enough for a two year-old, Abigail was thrilled. She was incredibly interactive with her teachers for every lesson, certainly more so than any of the other children in her class, or even her big sister for that matter! It may not have been the most fun option, but Abigail still loved getting to see her teachers every day and sing and play and dance along with them! She has just risen to every challenge!
Now my precious baby is on her way out of the toddler stage and is older than her sister was when we arrived. Her whole life, or the one she has a memory of, has been spent here. Everything and everyone she knows, barring extended family, is here. And she is all the better for it! She is such a strong and brave little girl – never afraid to try something new with the bigger, older kids. I always hear from her teachers and friends' parents how all the students in her class look up to her. If her teacher needs help with something, they look to Teacher Abigail. If there’s a new student in the class who needs help calming down and settling in, the teachers send over Abigail! I could not be more proud of my baby girl and the amazing girl she is growing up to be. More than happy to do her own thing and try something new. I can’t wait to see what she has in store next!
Sara Gail
My big, brave little toddler, who had only recently become a big sister, was in for quite a journey to move to a brand-new country and continent at only 3 years-old. She was a bit more aware of the change than her baby sister, so Sara Gail was a bit more cautious. Having spent all her toddler years with me at home, as we found fun things to do, Sara Gail was more reluctant to leave home to try out school. She missed having more space to play, a bigger house, her own room even. She dropped nap time quickly after arriving because she didn’t want to sleep, she wanted to get into trouble while her baby sister was trying to sleep. She was a mischievous little girl, but she struggled getting settled. I could tell she missed familiar surroundings and was a bit more hesitant around new faces and places. One thing she did love about living here was hunting for snails. Everyday she loved to go out with her sister and I and search for snails in the bushes and under the trees. Their shells are just so beautiful, and she was so happy to just sit and watch them crawl along.
When we did move into our house and get all our things back, she was thrilled. She recognized all her toys and was so happy to have them back. It helped ease the transition more for her to have all these familiar playthings back in her own home. But she still struggled with Varun’s travel. From very early on after moving here, Varun had a lot of work and business trips and was traveling almost every week. As a baby and a toddler, Sara Gail was used to having him home every night. It was really hard for her to accept that now he had to travel for days, or sometimes weeks at a time. I did my best to help her navigate these new arrangements, help her feel comfort from him even when he was away. She really started to thrive in her own interests, which started with arts and crafts. She absolutely loves coloring, painting, anything that she can draw, build, or make with her own two hands.
While the pandemic was still very difficult for her, missing seeing her friends and teachers in person and struggling with having to have class over a computer every day, it did have one significant advantage for her. Just before COVID hit here in Ghana, Sara Gail was struggling to find her strong hand, she would constantly switch between left and right-handed writing in class. Once the pandemic was here and the lockdown began, it was just her and I doing all the worksheets and homework from home. She didn’t have any of her right-handed classmates around her, so she was finally able to accept, develop, and evolve her left-handedness, and there has been no looking back. I felt so guilty for a time because I never truly considered that I would have a left-handed child, then again Varun was left-handed himself as a child before his school teachers forced him to change hands. So I could not be happier and more proud of her for being her creative and imaginative self, and using the hand and side that is strongest for her!
Once the pandemic started to settle a little and people ventured outside more, Sara Gail grew to love playing outside in our neighborhood with her friends. Ever since we moved in and I saw the other children playing with her, I allowed her to go outside on her own. But over time she just grew to love riding her bike around and playing new games with all her friends. It’s been wonderful to watch them all grow together!
Now, at six years-old, Sara Gail has grown up to be quite an opinionated and strong girl in her own right. She knows what she loves to do, who she loves, and what she believes in. She continues to thrive and grow in the activities she loves – mainly gymnastics. She is much more aware of Ghana, and the fact that we will one day leave, a fact about which she is torn. Some days she talks about moving back to Houston, so she can get her two cats, other days she says she will miss everyone here. For now, she is settled and thriving, but she has some big changes coming up – most importantly she will be moving up to a big girl school in the fall! I know she will take it all in stride, and may struggle and stumble at the beginning. But she is nothing if not resilient and I know she will enjoy herself as she continues to make us proud!
The Sisters
The thing I have most enjoyed over the past three years is watching my two girls develop and grow their own relationship with each other. When we first arrived here Abigail was so small, there wasn’t much the two girls could do together in the beginning. Sara Gail was already 3 years-old and starting preschool. Abigail was only 9 months-old and not as interested in playing much. But as time went on and we settled into our lives here that rapidly changed.
Sara Gail’s curiosity about the new environment was quickly passed on to Abigail and the two began to explore our new home together. The pandemic definitely made our second year here in Accra a lot more difficult except for one thing – it gave the girls an opportunity to grow as sisters. We were in lockdown for a long time, afraid to expand our bubble too much and get exposed, so most of our time was spent at home together. And during that time, the girls grew completely inseparable, playing so many inventive and imaginative games together. They would tear through the house with their games, but it was the most wonderful thing to watch. I do feel sad for all the only children that were left without playmates during that difficult time, and their parents. But my girls, oh my girls loved every minute they spent together.
To this day, we don’t even need to ask the girls to keep themselves busy and play games together, they will come down on a weekend morning and dive right into one of the many games on their roster, or create a new one. They are able to enjoy their own classes and time apart at school, but I know they are happiest when they are playing together.
Varun and I
The relocation here to Accra was a joint decision between Varun and I. It was an opportunity solely presented because of Varun’s rising position in his company, but it was one that he was sure to discuss with me, and we both agreed it was the right decision for our family. The move here has certainly presented us with many challenges, the first and foremost being the demands of his current position in Accra (in fact he is running both the Accra and Douala offices).
I know it’s a constant battle for him to juggle all the demands of his job, especially the travel, with the type of home life he wants to lead and provide for the girls and I. He knows how much I struggle taking care of the girls and having the house run smoothly when he’s away. But what we have is a partnership, when one partner is managing one aspect of our lives, the other partner is handling the rest, and we try our best not to put too much on either one of us.
Thanks to Varun’s hard work and dedication, we’ve been able to carve out a comfortable life here for the girls, with some travel back home to our family and friends in between. I’m also grateful that our choice to come here, and Varun’s efforts in his position, will get us even closer to one day having the life and home back in Houston that we dream about. But, for now, we are trying our best to face and enjoy each and every day in this new place, surrounding ourselves with wonderful friends from all over the world. And making sure to put some time aside for each other from time to time.
Me
I know, both in life and in this blog, I seem to prioritize myself last, but I wanted to take a short time to reflect on how our move and stay here in Ghana has been for me. It has certainly been an adjustment to say the least. I came here knowing nothing about the country or culture – I had never even heard the names of the main languages spoken here before. But, like I always try and do when entering a new culture, I dove right in! I didn’t want to do all of my shopping at the big grocery stores – I wanted to buy the freshest local foods from the locals themselves! I wanted to try new things, explore new places, and take my babies along with me!
Sometimes that was a lot easier said than done. Sometimes the choice to try and continue living the same life I had in the US made things a lot harder, like not having a nanny or driver. But I’m still proud that I’ve made those decisions, even though I’m raising my girls in a much different environment than my mother raised me, and much further away from family, I’m still trying to emulate her example. I still like to choose independence, doing things on my own, for myself and my family. While it can be a struggle sometimes to stick out like a sore thumb, it’s still quite an eye-opening experience, and an experience I think it’s important for every person to have. And even though our family by blood is far away and overseas, we have learned to build friendships and create our own families over here that are incredibly strong and reliable. The friendships I’ve made here with people from all over the world, I know they will last a lifetime, and I’m a better woman because of that.
I couldn’t be more grateful to have had this chance to live overseas once again, meet new people from everywhere, and learn about another culture hands-on. It’s been an amazing three years with many ups and downs, twists, turns, and bumps along the way, but I really wouldn’t change any of it. I know, deep down, that for all four of us, it will be an opportunity we won’t ever regret, and Varun and I are giving our girls the experience of a lifetime, being raised in such a rich, vibrant, and welcoming culture.
The Journey
The journey that has led us to where we all are today – three years living in Accra with two more years to go – has been incredible. As I mentioned at the beginning of the post, it feels as though it began both a lifetime ago and yet like it was just yesterday. I’ve seen my two babies blossom and grow right before my very eyes, not unlike the little avocado sapling that Sara Gail planted in our backyard. I find it to truly be the most apt metaphor for our time here. It has struggled getting its roots in the ground at times, but it has grown in such a way, literally bending toward the sun it craves, that it can now do nothing but continue to grow in strength. We may have had difficulties finding our way in this new place, but we have all, as a family, found a way to put down our own roots and thrive.
I hope you all enjoyed reading this reflective post about the last three years our family has spent in Accra. Come back next time to read about our adventures in April this year, which include a family trip back to India!
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